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That Which Defileth the Heart
Jesus taught that it is the things that come out of the mouth that defiles.
 
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable.And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding? Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man (Matt. 15:11, 15-20).
 
The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart. If what comes out of the mouth is sin, then the heart is defiled.
 
These sins that come from the heart cause man to act upon this sin.
 
These sins keep a soul from entering the kingdom of God.
 
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10).
 
It is usually understood that these sins are sin and that keeping the Commandments means not doing them.
 
What is not always understood is that anything that corrupts or defiles the heart is sin. This means that dwelling on doing them is also sin.
 
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart (Matt. 5:28).
 
It is not only important to keep these Laws, but to keep them in a way that keeps us from letting them or the feelings that come from them develop in our heart so that we want to act on them.
 
For example, we realize by obedience of these Commandments that it is wrong to cause harm to another whether it be physical or emotional (verbal abuse); but what is often not realized is that it is also sin to hold certain ill feelings toward others within our hearts in a way that leads us to harm others.
 
An example of a feeling which can be developed into harming someone later is bitterness.
 
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled (Heb. 12:15).
 
When bitterness grows and springs up in the heart, it can lead to feelings such as hostility and resentment and then cause a person to act on these feelings.
 
 
God understands our feelings as we are created in the image of God. He does not require us to not have feelings altogether, neither does He expect us to not have feelings that come from harm inflicted by others. What is important is how we deal with these feelings. For instance, if we are angry at someone and we allow this anger to develop into hostility or resentment, then we have defiled our hearts. This is sin.
 
The book of James mentions how to deal with emotions such as anger which causes us to harm others.
 
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20).
 
"Slow to wrath."
 
Obviously, from this we learn that it is not sin in itself to feel anger. What is important is how we deal with this anger. We do not let it lead to hostility where it causes us to harm others.
 
We turn our feelings over to God and trust Him to take care of our problems.
 
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Phil. 4:6-8).
 
We keep peace in our heart, which is from God and remember to dwell on qualities such as those that are "pure" and of "virtue."
 
 
We should attempt to work out our problems with one another.
 
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican (Matt. 18:15-17).
 
But if the other person does not comply, we do not cause harm or keep resentment. If at all possible, we go our own way and do not associate with the other person. And if it be a necessity, we keep ourselves protected according to civil laws, or laws of our country.
 
 
We hold on to the peace that comes from our God.
 
Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord (Heb. 12:14).
 
And learn to follow His ways.
 
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matt. 11:28-30).