Marriage: they two shall be one flesh


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	Marriage: they two shall be one flesh

		Marriage is sacred in the Christian religion and divorce is to be avoided if at all possible. But not all Christian denominations agree that it is wrong to have more than one partner. Is monogamy only allowed for the Christian or is polygamy (having more than one wife) acceptable, at least under certain circumstances? Let's look at Scripture to see what it has to say. In first Corinthians, Paul mentions marriage and in the process comments on monogamy. *1 Corinthians 7* 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. "Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (v. 2). Paul requests a monogamous relationship. In Ephesians 5*, Paul quotes the Genesis* marriage of Adam and Eve. Ephesians 5** 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Notice Paul says "wife" not wives and that two (not three or more) "shall be one flesh." (Compare to Gen. 2:23-24). Paul quotes the first marriage ordained by God when speaking about a marital relationship. According to Paul, the first and original marital relationship was created in the image of Christ and the church:"I speak concerning Christ and the church." As Christ has one bride (the church), so also a man has one wife. Paul obviously taught monogamy. But Paul also gives a command which appears to be an exception to the rule of monogamy. *1 Timothy 3* 12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. Paul says that for a man to be a church leader he can not have more than one wife. During Paul's time, certain male converts may have had more than one wife before converting to Christianity. If these men who were in such relationships would have been required to get rid of any extra wives they may have had before being allowed to convert, their extra wives may not have had no place to go. Tossing the spare wives out would have been unethical. Having extra wives in this circumstance could be called an exception to an otherwise required monogamous relationship. But those in such a relationship were not allowed to become church leaders since the leaders were required to set a proper example for other members to follow. Paul also gives a command about divorce which could be called an exception. *1 Corinthians 7* 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 Butif the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? Paul says if an unbeliever chooses to leave a believer, the believer "is not under bondage in such cases" (v.15). Rather than simply read what one of the first followers of our Lord says about marriage, polygamy, and divorce why not go straight to the Source and Founder of the Faith to see what He has to say. Does Jesus mention these subjects? *Matthew 19* 3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. In v. 8, Jesus speaks against divorce. Notice how he quotes Gen. 2:24 about mankind created from the beginning: *"they twain shall be one flesh"* (v. 4-5). Didn't Paul also quote the Genesis text? After quoting Genesis, Jesus says , "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery" (v. 9). What Jesus has just said tells us two things. First, marriage is for keeps with one exception, fornication (cheating). Second, if a man divorces his wife and marries another, he commits adultery. Now, notice what Jesus did not say. He did not say that if a man has more than one wife then divorcing any of them would be adultery. What He did say is that leaving one wife and going to another is adultery. The key words here are "and marries another." To marry another wife other than the one (wife, singular) first married is adultery. If a second one were married, divorce or no divorce of the first wife, it would still be adultery because Jesus said that to marry another is adultery. Jesus makes it clear that only one wife (monogamy) is allowed. Anything else is sin. Further, Jesus says in v. 9, that "...whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" which means that a man who marries the divorced woman also commits adultery. Both men are guilty of the sin of adultery. When Jesus taught against divorce, He did not change an Old Testament commandment given by Moses (Deut, 24:1-2). He taught the God-ordained relationship made at creation of man for man: "from the beginning it was not so" (v.8). Jesus explained why Moses allowed divorce: "because of the hardness of your hearts" (v. 8). *The Old Testament Book of Malachi* tells us God has always been against divorce. Malachi 2** 11 Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the LORD which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god. 12 The LORD will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the LORD of hosts. 13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out,insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. "Let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth" (v. 15). The men of Israel were divorcing their wives and marrying women who were turning them to a sinful culture ("daughter of a strange god") (v. 11, 15). God makes it clear that He is against divorce: "And did not he make one?"; "hateth putting away" (v. 15, 16). God's intention was for a lasting marriage. Like Jesus, Paul also calls cheating a sin. *Revelation 21* 8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. *Hebrews 13* 4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. *("whoremonger" from Greek pornos: whoremonger, prostitute, fornicator) (Strong 4205). And like Jesus, Paul calls cheating wrong for both man and woman.* *1 Corinthians 6* 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. If a man engages in fornication then like a woman he also becomes a harlot because the two become one. The unity of one man and one woman is sacred in Christianity with good reason. The physical ideology found in the Old Covenant is a representation of the spiritual ideology found in the New Covenant. *1 Corinthians 15* 45 And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit. 46 Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual. 47 The first man is of the earth, earthy; the second man is the Lord from heaven. 48 As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly.49 And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly. The physical is a representation of the spiritual. Genesis 223 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 1 Corinthians 6 9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. 14 And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. 15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. We are "joined unto the Lord" as "one spirit" (the church) (v. 17). We the church are married to Jesus. We do not cheat on our Maker by joining with the sin of the world (v. 15). Like the marriage of Christ and the church, two people through holy matrimony become one. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Works Cited Strong, James. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. Hendrickson Publishers, Incorporated, 2009.